So I think this might be one of my complaining sessions again. It's a good thing nobody actually reads this blog then. But just now, thinking about writing all my woes, what difference would it really make if I did? Nobody really cares about the woes of a 23-year-old unemployed freeloader. I hate that word, but that's what I feel I have become. Whatever.
So instead I think I'll write about something else. I don't yet know what that is, but maybe something will come to me. I just noticed that when I type, I tend to really bang on the keyboard. My fingers just naturally just push hard on the keys, I don't know why. Maybe that's the way my mom types, and it's just hereditary. My mom does tend to type really fast, and if I know what I'm going to write, I can usually type pretty fast as well now. It never used to be like that when I was in school. I was a really slow typer in middle school, all the way through high school. I would always ask for my mom's help for typing something up. I would dictate and she would type it down, offering suggestions when my word choice needed help or something else like that. But now I can pretty much do it all by myself, which is convenient considering I'm on my own now.
I read a book today that I really liked. It was called "The Renovation" by, well, I can't remember who the author's name was. But it was a really good story about forgiveness, and finding God. It was also kind of a romance story, but more of a subtle romance. I'm kind of a sap when it comes to romance stories, as long as they have real love in them -- not that cheap imitation love that our society gives out in great supply.
Well, look at this, I've run out of things to say already. Oh wait! I just thought of something else.
A good friend from Tulsa contacted me on Facebook today. I haven't heard from him in a while, so it was quite nice. As you might know (or as you'll find out soon enough) I tend to be quite long-winded when it comes to my writing. So of course I sent him a big thing about everything that is going on in my life right now. Oh well, he knows how long winded I can be when I type. Funny thing is, I think I tend to be the opposite in person. I don't say all that much when I actually talk to people. Most of the time I'm either listening or trying to think of the right thing to say in the silences.
Okay, going in a totally different direction now. I seem to be very unsure of a great many things these days. I'm not sure if I'll be able to go to college this year; I'm not sure if going to college right now is what I really want to do, or if it's just what i've been pressured to think that's what I want to do. Same with my career choice. I'm not very sure that being a music teacher, or any teacher for that matter, is really what I want to do, or if it's just something my parents did so I should do it too. And my confidence is pretty much shot. I haven't got a job, nothing even on the horizon right now. I've been trying for a few months to get a job, but so far nobody wants to hire me. I don't know, maybe it's just the economy and nobody really is hiring much right now. I've seen that a lot in my search for a job. Most places I've been to (the vast majority, actually) are not hiring, but they're "always accepting applications". In other words, "We won't hire you, but since you have all that free time because you're unemployed, go ahead and fill out this time-consuming piece of paper."
Well, I truly am done now. I think I'm going to go to bed or something.
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